All Over Again

Note: This was written in May 2019 and kept as a draft

Around this time in 2016, I spiraled into my deepest part of depression. Everything hurt. I went through cycles of anxiety. Nothing made me happy, and everyday was spent wishing for death. When I started taking Prozac, my life changed. It alleviated my mental fog, I felt strong, I was happy, and I had the energy from when I was 10. No longer was I sleeping all day, grieving over my life, and insecure over the smallest details.

I gained the strength to leave my boyfriend and grow friendships of my own. No longer did I depend on my ex to socialize. I began to do things for myself, like figure out my own transportation, cross the street, and do things without my parents or significant other.

I grew more secure in my identity and my strengths. I felt like I could do anything, and the thing I wanted most was to attend UCI.

I performed better in school. I did things without feeling bad for doing them (whether it was my mental instability, parents, or boyfriend influencing those thoughts). I earned straight As for an entire year.

I conquered some of my life long fears- something I never thought I could do.

I made so many people laugh with memes and advice that I earned a reputation at UCI. I met so many people and gained so many new friends that I always had things to do before I moved in.

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