This post may reference my previous Greek Life post, so I recommend reading that before reading this post.
I’m not going to use names of orgs because leadership changes every year, reputations can be tainted easily, and I don’t want to cause bad blood between me and the sororities. That being said, people who know me will know who I’m talking about and I will own up to that.
1. The srat I almost joined
I decided half way through Fall quarter that I wanted to join that sorority who extended a bid to me. After contacting the UCI Panhellenic president, she gave me the clear to rush if that sorority participated in COB (continuous open bidding). This did not violate MRABA because it was the same sorority. However, a bid would not be guaranteed if I were to do winter or spring rush. That was fine with me because I wanted them to choose me for me without a guarantee clause.
Because their fall pledge class was so large, they almost did not do winter recruitment. At the last minute, they held winter rush, but I did not know about it, so I did not do it.
At the end of winter quarter, my friend recommended me for spring recruitment. However, I never received a text or anything inviting me to it. Halfway through week 1 of spring quarter, I felt something was up, so I asked my friends from the sorority if recruitment was going on, if I could participate, and why I did not get an invitation.
Apparently, I was not invited because of MRABA, and the next day was the last day of recruitment. After talking about it with different sisters, I was allowed to come to the final recruitment event, with the understanding that a bid was not guaranteed because I did not come to the other two events.
When I left that event, my heart sank. I realized I wasn’t getting a bid and that I would go another quarter without participating in Greek Life. I felt so much was unfair. I told some of the sisters before that I was allowed to rush, despite MRABA, but I still didn’t get invited. I really wanted to join.
But after discussing it with others, I realized it was meant to be. I saw this sorority as the srat that wasn’t so srat. The one where I did not have to conform much. Where heels weren’t required of recruitment. Where I had choices and I wouldn’t be judged.
But if they really wanted me. If they really cared. They would have invited me.
I did not want to go through formal recruitment again, and I did not want to wait another quarter to rush a srat. I decided I did not want to be part of them anymore.
I heard from others that I wasn’t invited back because I was blacklisted. Some say that’s not true, others say it had to do with not accepting the bid and writing that post on Facebook. Apparently the post gave the impression that I felt I was above others who were in the sorority. This was absolutely not the case. I was trying to establish equal footing and an understanding that it wasn’t for me at the time.
I understand the sisters don’t work as a hive mind (which is great, I wouldn’t want it differently), but if my experience in a sorority is going to be influenced by people who don’t understand my values and intentions or why I didn’t join, then I don’t want to be a part of it. If MRABA was the issue, why didn’t they ask me? I had receipts!
I still hope to make friends from that srat, but I no longer want to join a traditional sorority that participates in formal recruitment.
2. The sister who warned me about my hair
Much later in the school year, I ended up telling my RC about the person who warned me that nationals would make me dye my hair for recruitment. I did not know she would report that to higher-ups. I think I got that sister in trouble.
I mentioned it to my RC because I was concerned about whether that was true or if the sister had it out for me somehow. Either way, I did not want to get her in trouble.
After discussing it with other people, though, I realize it’s best if I don’t join that sorority. If she was telling the truth, then nationals would limit me. If she was lying, then I would join a sorority where at least 1 person doesn’t like me.
I understand a sorority has a group of women of many opinions and values, and not everyone will have the same experience or opinion of me. However, I’d rather not join one where one person has outright made me feel unwelcome.
Ultimately, I choose to believe she had my back. I’m sorry I got her in trouble.
3. Joining higher tier houses
Someone told me I should strive for a “higher tier house” with a “bigger flex” than the two I have in mind.
The thing is, I realize those houses require a certain level of conformity, commitment, and money that I don’t have or want to do. No disrespect to those who chose it- I recognize that everyone has things that fit better for them. My issue is that I have a unique style (or “brand”, as some of my friends call it) that I do not want to compromise. I’ve worked hard to be someone who stands out, and I do not want to stifle my individuality. Not to mention, some parts of srat life gives me gender dysphoria, as someone who identifies as both a woman and man.
Those higher tier sororities, may have more connections to frat parties, boys, and other things that people join srats for, but it’s not worth it for me to change who I am, albeit for a couple of years. If I’m spending money on it, I want to enjoy myself and not regret my decision.
Additionally, many of my friends who know the srats believe that I would not fit into those houses. Again, it’s not a superiority thing, it’s a matter of memes, a style with a strong theme of cobalt blue and neon green, and an obnoxious, almost brutally honest personality that would keep me from doing the whole performance of smiling for hours, lying about the negatives, and wearing heels for formal recruitment and campuswides.
The way I see it, I am a flex. Any sorority would be lucky to have me (more like I would be lucky to be in any sorority). okay this is moreso to my potential future frat big. look, man. i am a flex. i’m fucking maizy. the earth-chan of zotmeme and anteater shitposting society. the blue and green haired uci enthusiast. i got connections of my own, and people know who i am. i know i’m tooting my own horn but am I lying?
bruh, i know you’re joking that you want me to join a bigger sorority, but let me enjoy what i wanna do. I can be the frattiest little you could ever have. you won’t be disappointed, no matter which srat i’d join.
tl;dr for this section, I won’t fit into the more popular srats. That’s okay, and there’s no disrespect to those who do or do not nor disrespect to those that aren’t “top tier”. These are superficial rankings and I wanna be where I can be happy being a part of something bigger. That’s the whole principle of formal recruitment, right?