I haven’t been in my best mental state, due to reasons I don’t feel comfortable sharing. My previous post was all over the place and missed the point I wanted to bring across.Last time I saw my psychiatrist, he helped me come to the conclusion that relationships could be one of the triggers of my depression.
I’m embarrassed about that.
I won’t lie- I entered university making a fool of myself. As part of my repertoire on the Facebook pages, I often make jokes about myself being thirsty. Ultimately, I did it for the comedic effect, but I shouldn’t have done it nonetheless. People are telling me that I have a reputation, and I’m sure that makes me look bad.
Even though being in a relationship for the physical and emotional support is wonderful, it’s not something I absolutely need in my life, nor do I wish to actively look for it. I don’t want to waste my time, and I feel the right opportunity with the right person will fall into my lap as long as I continue pursuing my dreams and meeting people as friends.
As for a friend with benefits, whether that’s a reliable booty call or a one night stand, I’m just tired and unwilling to take that risk.
Having crushes puts me in bad emotional situations because I think I am unready for that emotional burden. As a result, I may develop a downward spiral into depression.
Maybe one day I’ll learn how to talk to boys the correct way. But until then, I’ll just keep doing me and hope to meet someone special.