A question that haunts the majority of us- How do we know we love someone? I believe that the body can be accustomed to react in the presence of certain people who we have previously had feelings for or currently find attractive. However, the body is not you. You have a body, but you are your mind. Your body does not choose who you love, your mind does. After all, that is your body’s natural way to make you reproduce and pass on your genes.But what has been tickling my mind is what makes a boy (in my case) special? Any boy can give sex. Less boys will listen and agree with you. Fewer boys support you in your actions. In case you did not know, I recently broke up with my boyfriend. I admit I still love him. He knows it, too. However, I contemplated this decision. Other than some personal problems, I thought that it would be exciting to meet someone new. My parents and family would stop leaving hints to leave my relationship. Some personal issues also come into play, so I cannot share them.
Now, I am regretting the decision. I wonder why I did it in the first place. I cannot go back. Everyone knows by now. If I did not do it now, I would have to do it later. On top of that, he might not take me back. I’ve proceeded with the “asshole phase” to deter him from making contact with me. I love talking to him, but it would only bring trouble if I did.
Am I only missing him because I am lacking the dose of oxytocin he gives me? I am waiting a week to make my decision to talk to him again. I know it is a long time, relatively, but maybe it is for a reason.
Being with someone else would be a lot of work. There’s the emotional investment and the attempt to become psychologically intimate. On the bright side, my single girls and I are going to a festival on Saturday. I could use some girl time.
I think I’m messed up, but that is alright. Every teenager is. This is just another phase I will have to overcome. One day I’ll be in another happy 1.5 year relationship.